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I want you to picture something for a
second.
Imagine your entire world, everything
you've built, everything you've worked for, everyone you love, all your plans,
all your security, sitting right here in the palm of your hand. Your whole
life. Right there.
Now imagine someone taking that hand
and smashing it onto a table.
Shattered. Like glass. Broken into a
thousand pieces. And you're left standing there, trying to survive in the
wreckage.
That's where I was.
We were raising five kids, beautiful,
wonderful kids who were the sprinkle of love that made everything work. We had
our faith. We had each other. And then my wife got sick. Six years of suffering
with cancer. I was working 70 hours a week, trying to hold everything together,
trying to provide, trying to be strong. And then I had my strokes. Two of them,
back-to-back. And then another one years later, in 2020, five years after she
had already passed away in 2016.
Everything we had. Gone. Financially
destroyed. My health, shattered. My wife is dying in my arms. Our whole world, smashed and obliterated.
Someone asked me once, during the
worst of it, "How difficult are things?" And I'm a calm person, I
didn't react in some crazy way, but I looked at them, and I held my hand out
flat, palm up, and I said, "Imagine your entire world is right here on my
palm. Our life. Everything. Right here." And then I slammed my hand down
on the table. "That's where our life is right now. Shattered like glass.
Destroyed. And we're inside of it, surviving in the wreckage."
And you know what? If it weren't for
Our Lord, Our Lady, and The Rosary, we never would have made it through. Thank
God the kids were there with us through everything.
But here's what I learned in the
middle of all that pain, all that loss, all that devastation:
Freedom comes when you finally let go.
Not the kind of freedom the world
talks about, doing whatever you want, buying whatever you want, living however
you want. I'm talking about real freedom. The kind that comes when you
surrender everything. When you open your hands and stop clinging to the things
this world told you mattered.
Once I surrendered everything, and I
mean everything, all the stuff of this earth except for the people I love, I
found a freedom I never knew before. A peace I can't fully explain. A joy that
doesn't make sense to anyone who hasn't been through it.
It's so hard to put into words. It's
so hard to explain to people who are still entrenched in this world, still
tricked into thinking that money, success, control, security, that's what will
make them happy. You almost have to go through the same kind of suffering to
even get a glimpse of what I'm talking about.
But I don't want you to have to learn
it the hard way. I don't want you to wait until your world gets shattered
before you figure out what actually matters.
So, let me ask you: What are you
holding onto that's keeping you from moving forward?
What are you gripping so tightly that
you can't receive what God wants to give you?
Maybe it's money. Maybe you think if
you just get a little more in the bank, a little more security, then you'll be
okay. But no amount of money can protect you from what's coming. I learned that
the hard way.
Maybe it's control. Maybe you think that if
you can just manage everything, plan everything, and keep everything in order,
you'll be safe. But you're not in control. You never were. And the sooner you
surrender that illusion, the freer you'll be.
Maybe it's your pride. Maybe you can't
let go of being right, being respected, being seen a certain way. But pride is
a prison, and it's keeping you from the humility that opens the door to God's
grace.
Maybe it's your past. Maybe you're
holding onto hurts, grudges, regrets, things that happened years ago that you
just can't seem to release. And every day you carry them, they get heavier.
They're keeping you stuck. They're stealing your peace.
Maybe it's an addiction. Maybe it's
something you're hiding, something you're ashamed of, something you think you
can handle on your own. But you can't. And the longer you hold onto it, the
tighter it holds onto *you*.
Whatever it is, you have to let it go.
Not because letting go is easy. Not
because it won't hurt. But because God can't fill your hands if you won't open
them.
Here's what surrender taught me: When
you let go of the things this world says you need, you discover what you
actually need. And it's not stuff. It's not control. It's not security in a
bank account or a perfect plan.
It's Our Lord. It's Our Lady. It's The
Rosary. It's faith. It's trust. It's the freedom that comes when you stop
trying to carry everything yourself and let God carry you.
I'm not saying it's going to be
comfortable. I'm not saying it won't feel like everything's falling apart. But
sometimes God has to shatter what we're holding onto so we can finally reach
for Him.
And when you do, when you finally open
your hands and surrender, you'll find something you never expected: Peace!
Real, deep, unshakeable peace. Not because life is easy. Not because
everything's perfect. But because you're not carrying it alone anymore.
You know what's crazy? I went through
all that suffering, all that loss, all that devastation—and I wouldn't trade
it. Not for anything. Because it taught me what really matters. It taught me
how to live with open hands. It taught me how to trust Our Lord, Our Lady, and
The Rosary in a way I never could have if everything had gone smoothly.
I'm not saying I wanted it. I'm not
saying it wasn't hard. But I'm saying God used it. He used every broken piece
of my life to build something better. Something eternal. Something I'm taking
with me when I leave this world.
And He'll do the same for you, if
you'll let Him.
So, here's my challenge for you this
week:
Identify one thing you're holding onto
too tightly and ask God to help you let it go.
Maybe it's a fear. Maybe it's a plan.
Maybe it's a person you're trying to control. Maybe it's a hurt you've been
nursing for years. Maybe it's something you're ashamed of that you've been
hiding.
Whatever it is, bring it to God. Open
your hands. Say, "Lord, I can't carry this anymore. I'm giving it to
You."
And then trust Him. Trust that He's
not going to drop it. Trust that He's going to take what's broken and make
something beautiful out of it. Trust that on the other side of surrender is the
freedom you've been searching for your whole life.
Because here's the truth: Surrender
isn't loss. It's freedom. And that freedom? It's waiting for
you. Right now. Today.
All you have to do is open your hands.
These essays will continue every
Friday, exploring different questions to help us all wake up to what really
matters. I hope you'll come back and walk this journey with me. We're all in
this together.
©2026 James Dacey, Jr., OFS
