The Joy of Becoming Less

A Reflection on John 3:22-30

John the Baptist understood something profound that we all struggle to grasp: our lives are not ultimately about us. When his disciples came to him, worried that Jesus was baptizing and drawing crowds, John could have felt threatened or jealous. Instead, he responded with words that reveal the secret to genuine joy: "He must increase, but I must decrease." John knew his role was to point toward Jesus, not to build his own following. He compared himself to the best man at a wedding, whose greatest happiness comes from seeing the bridegroom united with his bride. John's joy was complete precisely because he had fulfilled his purpose: to prepare hearts for the Savior. This is the paradox of Christian life: we find our truest selves not by promoting ourselves, but by making room for Jesus to work through us.

The "decrease" that John speaks of is not about becoming worthless or thinking poorly of ourselves. Rather, it means letting go of our need to control, to be recognized, to have things our way. When we pray the Rosary, especially the Joyful Mysteries, we see Mary living this same reality. At the Annunciation, she said yes to God's plan even though it would completely upend her own life plans. At the Visitation, she hurried to serve her cousin Elizabeth rather than dwelling on her own miraculous pregnancy. In the Nativity, the Mother of God gave birth in a stable, not demanding the recognition she deserved. Mary constantly decreased so that Jesus could increase in the world. The Rosary teaches us this rhythm of humility, showing us how to let Jesus become greater in our daily lives while our ego and self-importance fade into the background.

The voice that John mentions, the bridegroom's voice that brings him such joy, is still speaking today. Every time we open Scripture, every time we receive Jesus in the Eucharist, every time we pause to pray, we're listening for that voice. And like John, we're called to help others hear it too. This doesn't mean we shout or force our faith on anyone. Instead, we point toward Jesus through our actions, our patience, our forgiveness, our joy, even in difficult circumstances. We become like John, witnesses who step aside so others can encounter Jesus directly. The Luminous Mysteries of the Rosary show us Jesus revealing himself at the Jordan, at Cana, in his preaching, at the Transfiguration, and in the Eucharist. These mysteries remind us that our mission, like John's, is to help others recognize Jesus already present and active in their lives.

John the Baptist's decreasing led ultimately to his martyrdom, but his witness continues to inspire Christians centuries later. We may not be called to die for our faith in such a dramatic way, but we are called to die to ourselves daily, to our pride, our comfort, our desire to be the center of attention. When we pray the Sorrowful Mysteries, we see Jesus himself decrease, emptying himself completely on the cross so that we might increase in grace and truth. And in the Glorious Mysteries, we see the promise: the decreasing leads to resurrection. When we make room for Jesus, when we let him increase in our hearts and lives, we discover a joy that John the Baptist knew well, the deep satisfaction of fulfilling the purpose for which we were created. We become who we truly are by becoming less, so that Jesus can become more.


Questions to Consider:

  • In what areas of my life am I still trying to increase rather than allowing Jesus to increase? Where do I seek recognition or control that I need to surrender?
  • When I pray the Rosary, do I see Mary and John the Baptist as models of this "decreasing," or do I overlook this crucial lesson in their examples?
  • How can I be like the best man at the wedding, finding my joy not in my own accomplishments but in helping others encounter Jesus?
  • What would it look like practically this week to point someone toward Jesus rather than drawing attention to myself?
  • Am I afraid of decreasing because I don't trust that Jesus will truly fill the space I create, or because I'm attached to my own importance?


©2026 James Dacey, Jr., OFS

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